To say that mornings tend to be hectic in our house might be an understatement. And not for reasons one might think. Kevin and I like to stay up late watching the boob tube. Thus we are tired in the morning so when the alarm goes off loudly with the NPR announcing whatever an NPR announcer has to say at 6:07a, we turn it off and go back to sleep. Usually the snooze button is hit no less than 3 times. The only way we get up earlier is if Matthew gets us up and usually he does not get up until we get up.
The past few mornings I have been the 1st up and showered early so I would not feel so rushed. This is something I have been wanted to do for some time now because I hate that rushed hectic feeling in the morning. It is never a good way to start out the day.
We also have finally found some semblance of a routine recently after the vacations and some sick days. It is great to have this routine for everyone. It makes the mornings smoother, less stressful. I can think through an actual breakfast for Matthew rather than just rushing him out the door. Mind you, this does not mean he eats at home and we still bring whatever he did not eat with us to Kelly's house but we are not also towing a sobbing red rimed eye little boy into Kelly's house as well. Our biggest issue as of late is getting him to wear a coat and shoes out the door - that I can live with! This is one thing about the hot weather that both Matthew and I will miss.
We watch Clifford the Big Red Dog each morning and maybe part of the Curious George. We get Matthew dressed during his shows. It is something I am not thrilled about but we realized in the past few weeks that we need to pick our battles each day and getting Matthew dressed quickly while otherwise occupied has helped us out tremendously each morning.
This morning we had enough time to get everything ready - the coffee made, my lunch made, the bags to the car, and the kiddo dressed and fed so that we could all sit down and watch Clifford the Big Red dog. It was so infinitely lovely to sit down 1st thing in the morning to do this.
I did not watch the TV so much as I enjoyed watching Matthew. His expressive little face. His lips upturning into a smile at silly Clifford and his rascally friends. I notice a scowl from him as he eats the last of his grapes (the second bowl full.) A cheer for the raisins in his cereal. A look of annoyance at dropping said raisins between the cushions of the couch. Another smile because Dad helped him find them. His intent watching of the show. The subtle curve of his nose in profile - it is so dang cute. The little boy chin still slightly chubby but it is starting to disappear. The reddish hue of his boyish hair cut flopping down his forehead. The happiness he simply emotes sitting there watching his beloved Clifford, with his Mommy and Daddy.
He is a little boy yet he is looking so grown up lately. I have to think through what size to buy him these days - 4T! I gaze longingly at the cute little bear eared onsie (sized 0-3 months!) or the seemingly itsy bitsy hats in sweet soft pastel colors of pinks and light blues. Where has my little tiny baby gone to I wonder at those moments?
And yet I am enjoying each moment as they happen. Matthew has taught me SO much but one of the most important things he has taught me is to live for the moment, today. To stop hoping for the future of things or berating myself for the past. That right this moment, Matthew will only be this age once wearing that red hockey shirt that he was SO excited to put on, quietly watching Clifford and being overjoyed about raisins and grapes (hmm... one in the same now that I think about it!)
I am happy today for this time in my life and his life. For every precious thing Matthew has given me (even to some degree for those temper tantrums because those are SLOWLY SLOWLY teaching me patience...) I am glad to be alive, to spend an extra half hour in the morning watching my "little baby" growing up into a wonderful happy little boy. Morning moments rock!