Look Out Below!!!

Have I mentioned that I am suddenly the most clumsy person on the planet at the moment? Some reasons WHY:

* I have butter fingers and drop everything.

I mentioned yesterday I chipped one of our "good" plates (ha we have no GOOD plates. We have two sets of white plates from Crate & Barrel that we have had since before we were married...) However I have not chipped a plate since I was like 13.

* I end up looking like my three old when I do the dishes - slopping water all over my big ole belly. Kevin, who is likely the worst washer of dishes EVER, made fun of me the other day saying "my aren't we less anal these days" at my lack of ability to get the actual food off the dishes I am washing (YES we own a dish washer but I do not wash plastics in the dishwasher. There is a long paranoid story there...)

* I dropped the q-tip box FACE DOWN the other day, a box of 500 q-tips.

* I run into things that I know are there and have not moved in many months (and in some cases years.)

* Only time will tell when I actually go to sit my fat rump in my chair at work and lo the chair is no longer there as it is usually trusted to be.

* I seriously dropped the metal bird feeder hook on Matthew's head on Sunday morning. He was a very good sport about it, I felt like shit. No damage done, I think...

* I have little cuts and bruises on my hands, legs, and feet but I have no idea where they came from! I have burned my hands and arms several dozen times in the past two weeks.

* I write emails and review them and realize I have left out entire thoughts, misspelled basic words and really have no cohesive thought pattern most of the time.

* I find myself smiling a lot like I have completely lost my mind because if I open my mouth the stuff that comes out GAHHHH. Pure blather.

* I cannot concentrate long enough to read a book, magazine article or Internet site. I literally cruise over the verbiage of everything and do not really take in the nature of the words I am looking at (yet I still try to act social from time to time to discuss a book, article or piece of world news and well ah yeah see above!)

I think I might be getting ready to have a baby soon! Weeeeeee!