SOOO I am on pregnancy (like on crack but pregnancy... ah yeah bad joke... sigh. I am tired and have a massive headache.) I was wrong OH SO wrong. I am only 30 weeks along. I do not know why I had 32 weeks stuck in my head. Like I am trying to rush this process?! I am not. Yeah so I am 30 weeks pregnant *for the record*. Me smart, can do math.
At the appointment this week nothing very exciting happened. The past few appointments I was lucky and had the 1st one of the day at 8:30a. This time it was at 9:00a and I did not see Liz until closer to 10:00a. At least she apologized.
Anyway, Pancake's heart rate is normally 130 during previous appointments but it was 160 this time - she was doing some wild acrobatics before, during and after the appointment.
I gained a few pounds which I am not surprised about. I have been eating nothing but sweets. I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies on Tuesday night and polished off a huge chunk of them as they came out of the oven & also ate these same cookies for lunch the next day, yumyumyum...
I am SO tired I want to cry. SO I have not been doing any kind of exercise the past two weeks. SO the weight gain it not a huge surprise.
I am measuring at 32 cm (I think that is right, I was reading upside with a headache!)(does that sound right??? OMG I am 30 weeks pregnant, not 32!), normal and shocking as this may be but my iron was low. I am taking the iron pills religiously along with my prenatals so it should be up in a reasonable range by the time I need it to be in the right range (whatever the hell that means...) Stinky anemia - the bane to my existence!
Otherwise, I waited an hour to spend approximately 2.5 minutes in the room with the midwife. I guess as far as pregnancy goes that is not a bad thing, right?! Next visit I get to see a real live certified M.D. - whoo hoo! I expect to wait even longer to see those hooligans... I remember these appointments from the 1st time - they were even faster then this past visit with Liz. When I saw Dr. Lisa and Dr. male physician whose name I can never remember I swear they were lubing up the Doppler as they walked into the room and they were talking before they even knocked!
The kooky part of seeing the docs is that after that I start my weekly appointments which means OMG I will be having a baby any. day. NOW!!! WEEE...
The folks from my work threw Kevin and I a little shower this week! It was so nice. I did not expect to get much stuff - I told my boss when she asked me about throwing a party that I would love to have a celebration but gifts were not necessary. Of course they did not listen. I failed to take many good photos but the food was fabulous with yummy homemade dips, salads, and catered wraps and mini sandwiches! Plus a home made "pancake dessert" and fun pancake making kits for everyone to take home.
They were wonderful and we got this jog stroller (sort of - I think we got the 2007 model?) and this bassinet from everyone in the office. There were also gifts from the ladies. Clothing, blankies, those cute Trumpet socks, a pair of socks that look like Pumas in pink, and assorted bibs and other items.
It was just a beautiful, sunny evening and it was nice to socialize with people I adore outside of our office! On top of that my boss has the most home in this beautiful park like setting which made the evening all that much more amazing!
Showing posts with label due dates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label due dates. Show all posts
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
My Baby is Due... some time?
SO I just realized that other women whom I thought were due around the same time as me have had their glucose test and are beginning their two week a month appointments. While I have not done the test nor has it been mentioned that I should start the 2 week appts.
I know from the ultra sound that we were TWO freaking weeks off the original due date. As in earlier then we thought on the week so if I am writing this properly Miss Pancake is due two weeks later then we initially thought.
Here's the deal - my Midwife told me at the appointment right before the ultrasound that "I had to have the baby in July because she had a lot of births for August and she was booked." I told her at the point that I felt like I would probably induce if we went past a week late but now I am reneging on that offer. I do not want to induce unless there is something going wrong with the pregnancy.
Part of the reason for my take back on the inducing thing is that despite the fact that the baby measured 18 weeks old rather then 20 weeks old for the ultrasound, Liz, the midwife, never blinked and did not change the due date. Does that make sense to anyone? Especially since we had no clue when we actually conceived? We guessed at the date we thought I stopped having my period and had no idea going in to the 1st prenatal appointment. How responsible of us, huh?
I decided over the weekend that I am going to ask Liz about this at the visit next week. I just think it is crappy to assume that I am due at the end of July because Liz seems to want to have that time frame happen then walk around feeling horrible about being two weeks late when really Pancake is on time if she comes in the middle of August, you know?!
Maybe I am rambling about nothingness here. I will update next week after the appointment. It is not like it changes things THAT much but enough to make me wonder if she is just predicting the July due date so after one week she can say 'oh you want to be induced you are a week late and I have a crap load of babies due in August so you BETTER induce.' Which I do not want. Tea leave people, this due date stuff is like reading tea leaves, I swear!
I think... I think I am over thinking this. Weee... nothing like a hormonal pregnant woman gloaming on to some obscure fact and rehashing it in depth for the Internet to read! Fun times, people, fun times!
I know from the ultra sound that we were TWO freaking weeks off the original due date. As in earlier then we thought on the week so if I am writing this properly Miss Pancake is due two weeks later then we initially thought.
Here's the deal - my Midwife told me at the appointment right before the ultrasound that "I had to have the baby in July because she had a lot of births for August and she was booked." I told her at the point that I felt like I would probably induce if we went past a week late but now I am reneging on that offer. I do not want to induce unless there is something going wrong with the pregnancy.
Part of the reason for my take back on the inducing thing is that despite the fact that the baby measured 18 weeks old rather then 20 weeks old for the ultrasound, Liz, the midwife, never blinked and did not change the due date. Does that make sense to anyone? Especially since we had no clue when we actually conceived? We guessed at the date we thought I stopped having my period and had no idea going in to the 1st prenatal appointment. How responsible of us, huh?
I decided over the weekend that I am going to ask Liz about this at the visit next week. I just think it is crappy to assume that I am due at the end of July because Liz seems to want to have that time frame happen then walk around feeling horrible about being two weeks late when really Pancake is on time if she comes in the middle of August, you know?!
Maybe I am rambling about nothingness here. I will update next week after the appointment. It is not like it changes things THAT much but enough to make me wonder if she is just predicting the July due date so after one week she can say 'oh you want to be induced you are a week late and I have a crap load of babies due in August so you BETTER induce.' Which I do not want. Tea leave people, this due date stuff is like reading tea leaves, I swear!
I think... I think I am over thinking this. Weee... nothing like a hormonal pregnant woman gloaming on to some obscure fact and rehashing it in depth for the Internet to read! Fun times, people, fun times!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Due date and PPD
I had the first (of many) prenatal appointments yesterday. Heard the heart beat - WHICH totally always rocks!!! I was happy to hear it because I am sure like many before me, I wondered and worried and hoped everything was okay but it never seems okay until you see your chosen health care provider and she (he) wipes out that dang Doppler do hickey thing that it feels really good to hear the heart beat.
We guessed on my due date because us being us and me being me I have no clue when this child was actually conceived. SO the due date is some time around the first couple of weeks in August or there abouts. Of course, lovely Liz, my midwife, said "well I looked back on the notes from Lisa (the doctor who actually ended up delivering Matthew due to complications) and I am hoping this time the baby just drops right out after what you went through the first time..." AMEN sista.
There were the usual questions and than Great Scott the long discussion about testing and my age and all this shit about the chart going up on birth defects and I just chucked it out the window because my mother had me at 34 and well I am only mildly traumatized by that SO there. I AM NOT THAT OLD people.
Going for the au natural thing again this time around and Liz said "you know that epidural is the only reason you had that baby the way you did" and it is so true and that I am grateful for amongst a million other things during our birth from the nurse - Terry - who stayed on beyond her shift to help me to Dr. Lisa being a hard assed bitch and telling me I could do the epidural and "dammit get your ass in gear, calm down and the baby will come one way or another" to Molly, the Doula, who most definitely will be there again...
Finally, there is this whole family history thing. The question that got me... that struck a cord and kicked my ass was the one about depression. I commented on the low points I felt right after birth right when I started talking to Liz. SO at the depression part I said 'definitely my sister and mother'. She asked about me, after the birth.
I did not realize how raw, how deep those feeling still ran because I had tears burning in my eyes and my voice choked up. I could hardly believe that the truth is for all that time for many months I lied to myself and to really everyone except Kevin that I was horribly undeniably depressed, lonely and isolated.
I was angry about how the birth occurred, I felt horrible guilt and thought I was some sort of defective & weak person for not having the baby the way I thought I should have. I was lonely for many months. My family left me even more raw by saying nasty things like "you should not have had a baby, been that irresponsible if you did not really want it..." that is six week postpartum. My marriage suffered from these feelings. I struggled with the love I thought I would/should have been feeling for this tiny human being. Breast feeding was murder for weeks on end and yet I endured through that.
I walked into Liz's office for my postpartum exam and looked her dead in the eye and lied (KNOWINGLY) about how I was feeling. I scared myself on several occasions by the thoughts that ran through my head about death and dying and running the car off the road. I was depressed and struggling and I thought that was what I was supposed to do - it seemed no one else was feeling that way so I better just shut up and deal.
I can vividly remember signing up for swim class and music classes the moment I could to get my ass out of the house with Matthew and I saw a glimmer of light around his six month. I felt like someone ripped tape off my eyes (and that felt good) and I could see again the day I stepped on that YMCA pool deck with my writhing bath suited baby.
It all seems so warped now as I write about it, as I have thought about it and I have not ever admitted my feelings to anyone but the truth is that is what life felt like the first months of my son's life and it sucked.
For me, this was/is one the main reasons why we waited so long to have another and even discussed not having another baby. I felt so much guilt for the longest time but I have come full circle. I have forgiven myself and moved on.
Today, I know that those feelings are treatable - Liz told me that she will be sure to look in closely on me this time - that she will not let this pass her by, that her job as my health provider and for that I am grateful beyond words.
That I have people in my life who love (okay maybe just like) me - more of a sense of community - that I will rely on SO WATCH OUT. I will not lie this time around about how I am feeling. I am over the whole natural birth/child rearing thing. Whatever is best for my baby is going to be good enough.
I am strong(er). And the fact remains that what I did that day in April, it took Herculean effort, I pulled deep from within and after all was said and done, I did it. I gave birth to a beautiful wonderful handsome bright little boy whom I love more than any words can describe and I forgive myself for those early feelings.
We guessed on my due date because us being us and me being me I have no clue when this child was actually conceived. SO the due date is some time around the first couple of weeks in August or there abouts. Of course, lovely Liz, my midwife, said "well I looked back on the notes from Lisa (the doctor who actually ended up delivering Matthew due to complications) and I am hoping this time the baby just drops right out after what you went through the first time..." AMEN sista.
There were the usual questions and than Great Scott the long discussion about testing and my age and all this shit about the chart going up on birth defects and I just chucked it out the window because my mother had me at 34 and well I am only mildly traumatized by that SO there. I AM NOT THAT OLD people.
Going for the au natural thing again this time around and Liz said "you know that epidural is the only reason you had that baby the way you did" and it is so true and that I am grateful for amongst a million other things during our birth from the nurse - Terry - who stayed on beyond her shift to help me to Dr. Lisa being a hard assed bitch and telling me I could do the epidural and "dammit get your ass in gear, calm down and the baby will come one way or another" to Molly, the Doula, who most definitely will be there again...
Finally, there is this whole family history thing. The question that got me... that struck a cord and kicked my ass was the one about depression. I commented on the low points I felt right after birth right when I started talking to Liz. SO at the depression part I said 'definitely my sister and mother'. She asked about me, after the birth.
I did not realize how raw, how deep those feeling still ran because I had tears burning in my eyes and my voice choked up. I could hardly believe that the truth is for all that time for many months I lied to myself and to really everyone except Kevin that I was horribly undeniably depressed, lonely and isolated.
I was angry about how the birth occurred, I felt horrible guilt and thought I was some sort of defective & weak person for not having the baby the way I thought I should have. I was lonely for many months. My family left me even more raw by saying nasty things like "you should not have had a baby, been that irresponsible if you did not really want it..." that is six week postpartum. My marriage suffered from these feelings. I struggled with the love I thought I would/should have been feeling for this tiny human being. Breast feeding was murder for weeks on end and yet I endured through that.
I walked into Liz's office for my postpartum exam and looked her dead in the eye and lied (KNOWINGLY) about how I was feeling. I scared myself on several occasions by the thoughts that ran through my head about death and dying and running the car off the road. I was depressed and struggling and I thought that was what I was supposed to do - it seemed no one else was feeling that way so I better just shut up and deal.
I can vividly remember signing up for swim class and music classes the moment I could to get my ass out of the house with Matthew and I saw a glimmer of light around his six month. I felt like someone ripped tape off my eyes (and that felt good) and I could see again the day I stepped on that YMCA pool deck with my writhing bath suited baby.
It all seems so warped now as I write about it, as I have thought about it and I have not ever admitted my feelings to anyone but the truth is that is what life felt like the first months of my son's life and it sucked.
For me, this was/is one the main reasons why we waited so long to have another and even discussed not having another baby. I felt so much guilt for the longest time but I have come full circle. I have forgiven myself and moved on.
Today, I know that those feelings are treatable - Liz told me that she will be sure to look in closely on me this time - that she will not let this pass her by, that her job as my health provider and for that I am grateful beyond words.
That I have people in my life who love (okay maybe just like) me - more of a sense of community - that I will rely on SO WATCH OUT. I will not lie this time around about how I am feeling. I am over the whole natural birth/child rearing thing. Whatever is best for my baby is going to be good enough.
I am strong(er). And the fact remains that what I did that day in April, it took Herculean effort, I pulled deep from within and after all was said and done, I did it. I gave birth to a beautiful wonderful handsome bright little boy whom I love more than any words can describe and I forgive myself for those early feelings.
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