Up All Night

Not really but it sure felt like it. First, the Mole started last night but it came on at 10:00pm EDT... Woe is me. I was also working while it was on so I did not get to sleep until around 11:30pm. Sleep being a relative term of course. I laid there. I was uncomfortable, I tossed, I turned, IT WAS HOT despite the air conditioning & no covers. I could not turn the old brain off but I was not really thinking about anything per say, the brain was just a humming along. Lo, around 12:40pm I must have dozed off because I was dreaming that some child was crying in my dream and saying "I wannnt wannnt my my my Dadddddddddeee" before I sprang (hahahaha) from my bed to see what was the matter. That was no dream, it was M. Sobbing, sitting up, asking for his Daddy. I gave him the song and dance about everything being a-okay. I had to pee. I said I would be back which only sat well with him for a nano-second. I used the bathroom listening to him whimper and went back.

I laid down with him and hugged him. I told him everything was okay. I am not sure he believed me. Also, I do not think he was fully awake but he had that look on his face of being scared out of his wits. It has been a long time since I have been up with M in the middle of the night and having not really slept that made the whole experience more surreal (AKA sucky...) He fell back to sleep and I must have dozed off with my head leaning into my hand??? I already have issues with random body parts falling asleep you know when I am like standing or sitting fully awake so that was not fun to wake up to 20 minutes later. I got up and fell into bed only to hear M wailing again 5 minutes later. I woke K up this time and made him go in, M was calling for Daddy after all. Things were all quiet until I heard M literally chirping like the birds outside our window at 5:00 AM. UGH.

M has also taken to throwing himself dramatically at me when I leave for work from Kel's house, sobbing and asking for 'one more kiss & hug, mommmeee', 'where is my Daddy?', 'don't go Mommy'... Very dramatic like. Can we say regress much? This too shall pass, this too shall pass...

As an aside, I had my first dream (that I could remember) two nights ago that Baby Princess Pancake was born and she was crawling and sitting up in my arms gazing into my eyes and it made me melt. She was beautiful! Clearly she was not a newborn in my dream and I did not recall the specifics of the birth which I suppose it a good thing. With just that one dream, I can over look all of the woes of pregnancy just to see those beautiful sweet eyes looking up at me in the near future!

Sleep Obsessed

Let's face it - this is not my 1st nor my last time to complain about Matthew's sleep schedule. My little darlin' likes to get to bed late like his momma BUT... (breathing deeply) but he also likes to wake up at the butt crack of dawn. What have I done to deserve this I wonder?!

Matthew has been like this from the get go. I mean it - like pre-baby coming out of the womb. He would get started kicking at around 9:00p... And one would think the kid had a soccer ball in there with him because my ribs and some times I thought my lungs were getting booted SO hard. That kicking, squirming moving baby inside me went on for hours into the night. Finally quieting down around midnight. Only to start back up around 5:00p. It made me laugh at the time... WITH silence during the day... seriously I used to poke my belly at work to prod him to move because he was SO silent ALL. DAY. LONG!

Little did I know - ah to be oh so naive again - that this would chart the course of his relationship with sleep in the "real world"! From day one Matthew disliked sleeping... at night. like the rest of the world... He had to very urgently nurse ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Now my little tot sleeps through the night (most of the time) but getting the kiddo to bed is a major process that both Kevin and I get terribly frustrated about. We have tried all the tricks and quite frankly my bag o tricks is EMPTY.

I have given in... His normal actual go to sleep time is currently 9:15p on average. He current wakey wakey time is 6:30a. Now you may say 'well he naps like a champ - my kid doesn't do that...' I would seriously give up an hour or two of nap time to get him in bed by 7:00-8:00p every night. I do not even mind the early wake up calls if he would only do that.

I have my own issues with sleep. I am pooped during the day (dying for a 2-3 hour nap like Matthew...) but I cannot for the life of me force myself to sleep before 11:30p and I am usually up by 6:00a most mornings. I hate operating on this kind of sleep and no matter how hard I am on myself about changing my ways - I STILL DO IT... since I can remember. No really - I was sneaking the light on in my closet to read at around 5-6. I hated to sleep at night as a kid!

That is stoopid. Seriously, I am dumb. I need to change (I have been saying this for years!) especially when we start to get all serious about baby #2. I also know that eventually Matthew will grow out of this (or not... but he will be able to entertain himself rather than yell "momma, I hear you".) I know that nothing lasts forever but my word I never thought at almost 29 months I would be writing about his sleep habits STILL.

I look at the late bed time as extra time to spend with my son... and I look at the early mornings as training for baby #2... I can only hope that baby #2 does not take after Matthew and I... that he/she sleeps like a dream and that I can teach myself to go to bed and have it stick this time around...

I am sleep obsessed... always have been... probably always will be... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Why is it that we are still talking about sleep?

Matthew is 26 months old - soon to be 27 months old. And yet we still struggle with sleep. That has always been a "major" issue in our household. We did not have that perfect angelic child who slept through the night from day one. Naps are a snap but bed time is/was/has been H-E-L-L through out the past 26 months.

I hate that time of day when we start talking about getting ready for bed - or as Matthew asks "time for napping?" It makes shudder to just think about bed time right at this moment. It is a battle of the worst kind. We have tried everything known to toddler kind, literally. I mean it. Kevin & I both have theories and ideas about how to make bed time easier. We try them, exchange ideas, see if they work and dump them out after several weeks of frustrated attempts to keep things status quo, to make sure things work. We have simplified, done quiet time, tried crying it out, compulsively made the routine routine, we have tried snacks, bribery, begging, screaming at the tops of our lungs... ah hem, I mean... er, we have tried everything. It sucks quite frankly.

Sleep (and the potty)- if only I could conquer these issues... I would then perhaps consider having a 2nd baby even!

Let me just say that it is not keeping my son asleep at night that is the issue (OMG pounding on the wood so as not to jinx us...), it is the act of actually getting Matthew to sleep that is the issue. I was happy to hear yesterday other moms (and dads) stating they have similar issues - not because I am happy they to are frustrated but because we are not alone in our issues. That always helps - misery does love company, you know?!

I am all over that - "omg yeah my son totally does that too." "oh you had to move the toddler bed back to a crib too!?" I can hardly contain my excitement to find others who have similar issues. It is suckalious to talk to parents who tell me that they have never had this issue or that - it makes me feel lonely. I want to cry at my failure as a parent to not be able to guide my young prodigy(because we all know he is brillant, right. Right?!) to learn to go to sleep. by himself. in a real bed. AFTER HAVING GONE POOPY AND PEE PEE IN A TOILET - ah but that is another issue all together.

I search in vain for the answer and even with all that company I am still miserable at the end of the day (haha, I am SO punny...) One of my favorite searches turned up on eHow (and if you have never looked things up on eHow - try it, it is fun and amusing all at once...)

" Be patient. If your toddler has trouble getting to sleep, that doesn't necessarily mean he has a sleep disorder ' it may just reflect the fact that being awake is so much fun. Work on the sleep routine at a rate your child can handle, and everything should be OK."

Yeah okay what about working on a sleep routine at a rate that mommy and daddy can handle because we are looking at the year 2010 before Matthew actually gets his routine and goes to sleep without a struggle! Ah and good to know he does not "necessarily" have a sleep disorder...

" Keep him busy during the daytime. Most toddlers have lots of energy and enjoy going to the park or playground to work some of it off." - I love how it is implied that our toddler stays at home with someone so he can go to the park or playground to burn off his energy. Grrr... nothing like alienating the working parent! Yeah so I was thinking about this part of my post and I am being a bit sensitive, I KNOW, but still... I mean come on!

Oh and this is promising: "It is a disturbing myth that a gentle sleep plan is slow and a cry-it-out plan is quick. The TRUTH is that either method can bring quick results. But in most cases, either way, cry or no cry, it will take weeks or months before a child is going to sleep easily and sleeping all night every night. Just like teaching a child to walk, talk, or use the potty, there is no one-day solution. And there is no simple one-size-fits-all solution."

As she runs from her computer screaming, in tears and her co-workers are left to wonder "what?"

This person - Elizabeth Pantley - who wrote The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night which I tried to slog my way through when Matthew was a wee tot wrote a great book. She has excellent advise but not if you are (extended) nursing. Matthew was just an aggressive nurser - I wonder how the hell I will handle nursing with a new baby and a toddler (mostly if I will be able to go for any where near as along as I went with Matthew - again another story, another time...)

She offers helpful advise on this go around (and I rather like Liz has a came to think of her back in the day...): "The best bedtime for most toddlers and preschoolers is between 6:30 and 7:30 PM; it's a biological thing. If we don't listen to the biological call we miss bedtime and then a child gets a second wind and is up until 11 p.m.

First, make sure your child isn't taking a long, late nap. For example, some people let their child take a dinnertime nap, which with a little nudge can become an early bedtime.

And an interesting thing I learned: When I surveyed children about sleep, a surprising 97% of kids gave the same answer to the question, "How do you know its bedtime?" The answer was "Mommy tells me." Or "Daddy tells me." This gives parents more power than they realized. They may have never realized that setting a bedtime is as simple as setting a bedtime!

So create that peaceful bedtime routine I've been talking about and set an earlier bedtime. It really, really helps if that routine takes place for an hour and is quiet, peaceful and dimly lit. Bright lights and noise prevent tiredness."

Kevin & I have discussed that some of the "getting Matthew to bed" issues may include the length of time Matthew naps, the fact that Matthew is so excited to be around us at the end of the day, the fact that he thinks when we put him to bed it is equal to us leaving him at day care during the day and, finally, we have solo bed time routines now a days. Both of us do not assist. Having both of us involved seemed to get him revved up rather then quieted down. I think we just need to tighten things up in terms of bed time routine and hunker down and know that eventually Matthew will get a bed time down (and it will be before he turn 16 and by that time OMG let's DEFINITELY NOT go there...)

Holy long post batman. If your still hanging with me, have a lovely day filled with hopes for a good night sleep!

Bed to Crib Update

We made the change back to the crib yesterday as previous discussed. At first, the little guy asked where his big boy bed went but we told him this was his crib and he would be sleeping in that for awhile.

After a shower, teeth brushing (if you are having trouble getting your little person to brush get an electric brush - my GF who is hygienist sent me one about 6 months ago. I put it away because I did not think he was ready for it but he and I were rooting around in the bathroom cupboard and he found it. SO I took it out and he ACTUALLY wants to brush now rather then just sucking the minty paste off the brush and playing in the water!) and some books and songs, we put him in his crib.

He was quiet for a bit. Then he started yelling my name. I went in there after a while and, of course, he had thrown everything out. I put it all back and we said good night again. This happened again and Kevin did the same thing. He started crying and was pretty mad after the second time and Kevin went in to calm him. He asked to have his diaper changed and wanted to sleep on the floor but Kevin put him back in the crib. He was sobbed loudly for about five minutes and then off to dream land. He did wake up crying once last night at 4 something and Kevin and I took turns soothing him back to sleep but that probably took about 20 minutes versus the hour it had become.

He still did not actually go to sleep until about 9:40p or so but it was much easier on us to have him in his crib yelling and crying then have him popping in and out of the door every sixty seconds. He seemed more rested this morning then he has on other mornings more recently AND he was actually in a decent mood rather then a grouch from a lack of sleep.

I asked Kevin last night half jokingly how we ended up with the child who does not sleep when both of us like to sleep SO much. It has been sort of bummer but it is interesting to talk to moms with two kids because most of them have told me that the first was a dream and the second was totally different (or vice versa.) The most recent person to tell us this: we ran into an old friend from Kevin's previous job, Amanda, at the Farmer's Market last Saturday. Amanda has two: Quinn who is almost three and Zachary who is 13 months. She said compared to Quinn, Zachary is a hand full - he is into everything, a total dare devil, he won't sleep and does not sleep well, etc... Here's hoping if we decide to have second baby that child LOVES to sleep because lord knows by that time, I will need that (plus one of the things holding me back from considering a second babe is nursing - all day and night on and on and on into infinity....)

On a side note (and completely off topic), this story caught my eye. Who had a clue that whales this long and what a shame that someone killed it to find this object but it is still really amazing!