Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Just another Meltdown Morning..

Wow, can you believe there are only five full days until CHRISTMAS day!? The excitement is palpable in our house. Matthew is having a holiday pajama party at day care tomorrow and he is so excited I think his head would spin a la Exorcist. He even had a melt down this morning (well part of melt down) that "we FORGOOOOOOOOT that it was pajama party day toooooooooday." I assured him that while I am pregnant and my brain is a bit addled at the moment, I do know that the pajama party is not till tomorrow.

This quieted him down for a brief moment than he moved on to the next injustice of the day. This morning was a rough morning in our household. Really it started when I took my shower.

Generally but not always, I get up first and take the shower first. It takes me WAY longer to get ready (said with sarcasm dripping from every word...) Okay I am not a man and I cannot get showered, dressed and ready for the day in 10 minutes. It some times takes me 30 minutes, or even HUHHHHHH, 40 minutes. I do not look like a beauty queen when I walk out that room either. I just do not move very quickly in the morning. Try as might, it takes me that long - it just does dammit! Some times we switch off - one gets to sleep in and the other showers. This generally works well if Matthew stays in bed asleep but the past few mornings, Matthew has been up UP ready to go at 6:15a... This morning, I showered second. Also, I gave in and let Matthew watch TV earlier than usual which all just set the scene for a morning of screaming and tears.

Kevin came out of his shower ready to go. I mean like leave the house. Meanwhile Matthew and I were curled up on the couch watching Caillou. Matthew was dressed for the day and happily eating breakfast. Please note that generally on these days when I leave to shower Matthew is happy as a clam. And generally when I come out, Matthew is NOT.

I think part of this issue (and I spoke with Kevin about this...) is that Kevin wants things to happen. fast. in the morning. But Matthew is a little like me in that he likes to take his time in the morning. You need to remind the kid 50 times about things ("we will be turning off the TV now. Here is the remote. Please turn the TV off. If you do not, I will" - he usually turns it off at that gentle threat but Kevin just swoops in, says "that's it" and off the TV goes...)

I know it is a hard dance with kids this age. You do not want to come off as too wishy washy or else they will take advantage of every dang thing they can come up with. On the other hand, I had a mother who was all or nothing, black and white and it drove me away from her with anger & frustration. Life is not always one or the other. There is a middle ground in almost every situation. I find with Matthew at least for me most of the time we can find a common ground and there may be a few tears or sad faces but generally Matthew will listen and do as he is told.

This is not to say that I do not blow up or get frustrated because I do but less so than I used to. I find Matthew handles life much better at his pace for the time being and within reason of course. Mind you I am not totally rolling over with regards to his demands (think the eluded to library scene from yore...) There are times when he defies me but I generally can get him to do what it is I want him to.

It is just something about mornings that stresses my dear husband out. Typically if I go 2nd in the shower, there is a major meltdown and I am half naked trying to deal with the sobbing child while I shoot nasty looks over his shoulder at Kevin.

SO on that long ass explanation and mostly just so I can preserve these fine moments for prosperity I determined this morning after the prolonged 40 minute cry fest that I need to just suck it up and get my butt out of bed first, shower and basically be ready to go to avoid these things... it is sucky way to start the day for everyone and I think we will all be happier (perhaps minus me and my extra 15 minutes of sleep ;)


Tessie said...

My child has never once in her life slept past 6:30 am, so I am ALWAYS trying to wrangle her and get ready at the same time. This is why my hair ends up in a ponytail every single day. SIGH.

melissa said...

Oh that does suck! Lily has been so random with her wakings lately. One day it's 7:15 the next it's 6:15. Makes it hard to anticipate when we need to get up. Toss a baby into the mix and it's all kinds of uncertain! I still don't know what my morning routine will be like when I go back to work on Friday.

LoriD said...

I always take care of everything in the morning- getting myself and three kids dressed, groomed, fed and out the door. Then, I wait for my husband, who has only himself to get ready, to make his way out to the car. While it sucks, it's the only way that it works. Otherwise the kids are all out of sorts and ill-prepared for the day. With my youngest, she comes right in the bathroom with me and plays with her bath toys (or the TP roll) while I shower.