Thursday, July 31, 2008

"I am still standing"

Actually I am sitting at the moment but in the form of an update there is still no baby yet. I was hopeful last evening as I was feeling out of sorts and decided to add the last minutes things I thought I might need for the hospital to my bags & took a long shower. I could hardly stand, sit, or walk but not because of the usual back pain/feet aching/contractions but a new - er ah - issue that "developed" (has been developing since giving birth last time?) some time during the day yesterday that likely made me feel so uncomfortable. I will not go into detail here but the issue is fairly awful, very uncomfortable and the worst I have ever had when it comes to this particular issue. The things they never tell you about pregnancy, sheesh (or they do tell you but you choose to ignore because holy cow that will never happen to me... bahahhahahaa)

Now I am at work for half the day and I am staring at the flower my co-worker half jokingly brought over to me the other day - you know the old flower opening metaphor?? Yeah so there is that.

M is freaking out. We have not told him all the details, some, but not all. I think he can just sense it. He had a 2nd major tantrum (for lack of a better word) in less then three days this morning when we dropped him off at K's house. I feel horrible for him and I wish I could help him through his feelings but he is a little bit like me and needs to work through it on his own even if that means bouncing his head off the wall a million times before it all clicks.

K and I were talking after the drop off this morning and we are hoping against hope that once he sees that Pancake just lies there and does not move that this will quell some of his nerves. We never imagined that M would struggle this much with the new baby mostly because he has been okay with it with little hiccups here and there about the topic. We both agreed we just need to be as patient and calm as we can be, keep talking to him and give him what he needs which oddly enough is mostly to be left alone.

I did not think this would happen so soon but M likes to be left alone. He will go into his room and shut the door or sit quietly on the couch with his blanket and thumb staring out into space when something is bothering him. I guess I figured you know around 12 or 13 this would happen but not at age three. SO I am adjusting my thoughts about this behavior. It is hard because I want to go and comfort him and make sure he is okay but I need to remember he is a little human being who just needs his space and that every kid is different. That is just how my son deals with things. But man is it hard!

I am sure I will keep everyone up to date as to how things progress. For now I need to work and try to "wrap" things up (which is laughable in my job but whatever!) Hopefully yours, ME :)

1 comment:

AndreAnna said...

I think we all too often forget that our kids are just little people with their own nuances and personality traits - we just want to comfort them and take care of them, when sometimes that's not what they need.

I'm glad you see your son as an individual and are doing your best to allow him to work through his feelings.