Friday, November 9, 2007

The Gas We Pass

I should have known... that Matthew is truly a product of me. I have been known to have some issues with errr, ummm, how should I say it, GAS. Yeah so in college my roommates called me Stinky (or Stinks...) Why oh why am I admitting this to you all? WHY?! How embarrassing. Did I really just open this up to people once again calling me stinks? I actually do not have as many issues as I once did. Not sure if it was some weird 20 something issue or pregnancy but I HAVE changed, dammit, I have!

I actually think I discovered the culprit. It was being on THE PILL. I was off THE PILL for lord know how long what with being pregnant and nursing for 20 million months and than I just decided not to take THE PILL until I saw Liz for my yearly exam which fell in May on the 31st. She gave me my prescription and I happily trundled off to Kroger to have it filled. I was on THE PILL for exactly three months before I quit. Yes, I quit THE PILL because I realized "holy shit this is what makes me gassy!" And I feel much better, no gas, VIOLA! Of course like all humans I emit gas still but not like the past gas - just the normal every day garden variety gas... SO just for the record I am no longer stinky thus the name does not apply, PLEAAAAAAAASE!

Where am I going with this??? ACK, so with that said, my son woke up this morning with his usual charm and came shrieking down the hall having not learned the subtle quietude that the morning should bring as of yet. He was happy this morning. He requested the pear I was going to take to work for lunch which I happily obliged him and some granola cereal with raisins of course. He was all giggly and chatty. As I cut up the remainder of the pear for his eating pleasure - he looked over at me, turned REALLY red (and I thought OH LORD PLEASE do not make me clean him up from a poopy pull-up) and he FARTED! Then he giggled uncontrollably and said "I TOOTED, Mommy!" I just laughed out loud because Kevin and I were recently discussing (not within with hearing range of Matthew) how funny farts used to seem to us as children. I know, I know the depths of our conversations are amazing, huh?

I was also quite proud of Matthew for calling it a 'toot' versus a 'fart'. I thought for sure we were doing to be stuck with the word 'fart' when Kevin's dear sister bought this book... which is actually really cute and I get to make obnoxious noises with my mouth that Matthew imitates and it is really rather amusing - also this book lives in our bathroom which for some reason amuses me to no end... but COME ON people I am trying to teach this boy manners, manners you hear me!??!?

Also, for some odd reason I take issue with the word FART these days even though that is what I have call the emission of gas from one's body for most of my life, till now. Like toot will make it smell less? Who knows...

The depth my story telling astounds me. Ah, yeah so here's to FRIDAY!

5 comments:

LoriD said...

Oh, this made me laugh! My kids call it a "bum burp", which I think is cute. Not so cute when my 4 yo bends over and says "hey mom, is there something on my bum?" Then... lets one rip. Ew.

Tess said...

I have never heard that about The Pill and gas. GOOD TO KNOW.

Christina Schmidt said...

lorid: OMG, I am so looking forward to that stuff (the bending over and tooting part...) because I secretly think farting is pretty funny still - it sort of tickles the belly of my inner child!

Tessie: Well, at least that is what happened to me and I was not really aware of it either until I stopped taking it for three years... then it all seemed to clicked.

Kelly said...

I'm glad to know that I am not the only person out there who, for some unknown reason, has issues with the word fart. I didn't even like writing it just now. ;) My hubby thinks it ridiculous, but it just seems like such a bad word for some reason and I dread the day I hear come out of my son's mouth. For the most part (so far), Gray seems pretty unaware of his "bum burps." ;)

K and J's mom said...

Count me in to the club of the word "fart" haters. What IS it about that word? I don't know either, but I don't like it. It just sounds gross. I've taught K to say "I have gas".... which is very cute until she announces it to everyone in the room (or grocery aisle). I'm waiting for the day where she announces to everyone when she overhears OTHER people's gas.... eh hem.