Monday, May 12, 2008

Weekend Be Gone

The weekend is past and this is the 1st time in a long time where I was glad for that. SORRY, honesty can be a sucky thing, eh? Last week was long and difficult, mentally and physically. I am to the point for myself where I am just uncomfortable. My stomach seems to be squashed down to a pea size to the point where I have completely lost my appetite OR I have the stomach flu...

We had Zachary's viewing to attend on Friday and on Saturday they did a celebration of Zachary's life at his church. It was amazing, spiritual and touching. Again and again I was left saying what a guy, what an amazing family, life and wife he had in 26 short years. It was draining emotionally too.

Saturday was beautiful and sunny. I had the chance to run around doing 'errands' but also relaxing on my own for a few hours and it truly felt like those few hours were my Mother's day. Though I have to admit I ended up buying Matthew clothing and not getting myself anything! Gymboree sent their 30% off coupon so I took advantage of it and it was well worth it since I found stuff all on sale plus the 30% off!! Gotta love that!

Sunday dawned rainy and gray. No big deal, I am taking the cool rainy days for what they are - another day my limbs do not swell to Michelin man proportions! Kevin & Matthew brought home the usual Starbucks Sunday fare. But I have to back track, I woke up in the night SICK. Like bad. Like Matthew bad two weeks ago. I was wracked with stomach pain and well yeah THAT other stuff that goes with being sick to one's stomach.

Needless to say the ability to sleep till 7:00am was much appreciated. The day sort of fell apart beyond the Starbucks and cards from Kevin and Matthew which Matthew opened. I basically slumped around in my pjs feeling rotten, Matthew was cranky and Kevin kept disappearing (to do what I do not know!?) I wanted to go to Micheal's so we all went. We bought some prints for the baby's room but we left quickly as I started to get really yucky feeling again. By the time we got Matthew down for a nap, I was passing out. I slept for almost three hours in the afternoon and woke up feeling mildly better. Matthew woke up cranky and crying... I wanted to cry with him!

I so wanted to do something more, to enjoy the day more but it just did not happen. The thing I know from this weekend is that when I have expectations or hopes for something great it generally turns out to be different then I expected. Once I started to feel better, things brightened up.

The other thing I know is that I do not need one day to prove that I love being a mother, that I am honored to be a mother/wife and that life is good. I know that everyday I am blessed with/by my son, my husband, and this baby growing inside of me. I know that Mother's day is not just one day or weekend out of the year but many days that come together into years and that I am enjoying as much of it as I can even when I feel like I crap.

I found things to smile about yesterday beyond the pity party I had while in the bathroom! I got to sit and watch the gold finches and cardinals flit back and forth between the tress and feeders in our front yard. I had the chance to chat with my mom and my friend, Christine. I loved that Matthew snuggled up with me to watch Shrek for the first time. I had a great nap and even got to "sleep in" until 7:00am both days. I enjoyed reading the US Weekly my husband thoughtfully bought for me & watching the Survivor finale. Kevin took care of the laundry, the cooking, cleaning and groceries for me - and boy does that kick ass!!!

SO while this Mother's day was not 'all that', at the end of the day when I laid my head down and did what I do most nights which is to think about what I am grateful for I could not come with one single negative about the weekend that could trump how great it is to be a mother every day of the year!

1 comment:

Jen said...

Must have been something in the air yesterday because Evan was cranky all day too! My first mother's day consisted of an all day crying and screaming fest. But- like you I got to sleep in both days until 7:30am! Funny how that is now sleeping in....

Happy belated Mother's Day to you, my friend!