Elusive

I have suddenly turned into brain dead not so smart pregnant lady. I mean seriously. I have been struggling, mentally. A LOT. SO if you see me around blankly staring off into space with a slightly confused expression on my face & I look like I might also lose my balance, I have not been drinking - I am just pregnant. I think I need one of those word shirts - 'not drunk, just pregnant' so the poor people I run into with my shopping cart at the grocery store or step on their toes at Target (both are real stories...) know I do not mean it - it is out of my control. I am just pregnant.

Also, sleep. Novel concept and a great idea in theory. I mean I would love to say I go to sleep at a responsible hour due to the pregnancy and the perpetually cranky toddler, sleep through the night like I was tired and pregnant. Then wake up refreshed at the appointed hour I need to be up in order to get ready for work, make my lunch, eat breakfast, feed my child, get him dressed, spend some QT with him and get off to day care & work.

Rather I sit in bed at night until I finally force my index finger to depressed the red off button on the TV remote when the glowing (evil) red alarm clock blinks midnight, curl onto my Snoogle and lay there feeling my sinuses fill up with gook. I finally drift off only to wake up at 2:00a, 3:00a, 4:00a to lay there. Staring at the wall. Wondering WHY I am laying there awake? What woke me? What can I do to fall back to sleep?

Last night was the 1st time I reminded myself that if I was awake I should just get up because I know that I will not "just fall back to sleep". What did I do you ask? I just laid there, feeling sorry for myself, petting Santana's bald back. I will get up next time because laying there is just stupid. Think of the things I could do. WORK! LATE NIGHT INFOMERCIALS! WARM CUPS OF TEA (caffeine free of course!) A WORKOUT! Yeah all those sound appealing at 3:00a, right?! Oy.

The life of a pregnant lady is grand! We sure live it up!