A Moment To Reflect

I want to remember some things about this pregnancy:

How it feels to have baby hiccups bumping away inside my abdomen (especially when I am on the phone at work...)

That crazy zinging movement this baby does when she moves around. It is like she is doing cartwheels in there and some times she like to use my bladder as a trampoline.

She moves the most during the morning hours and in the evening late into the night. She is fairly gentle compared to Matthew. I never wake up from her kicks and punches but if I do wake up in the night I notice she is going non stop!

She loves to bounce around the minute I hit the shower. She has that in common with Matthew. He loved doing that as well!

I have had my first round of massive swelling complete with cankles - this seems to have a direct correlation to the rise in the temperature. I could not cool off to save my life for two days in a row. I slept with no covers and the ceiling fan on. And I will stand at the sink at work for 10 minutes running cool water over my hands which actually helps.

In addition to the swelling & heat, I had my very first lovely leg cramp at 4:45a this morning! I scared the crap out of the dogs and then I had to pee. Go figure. I am limping now. It was a good one!

Matthew has taken to putting his hand on my belly and waiting to feel his baby sister move without my prompting or assistance.

He also sings the ABC song to her, kisses her and likes to lay his head on my belly.

Yesterday he checked for windows on my belly to see inside. This came from the book we have been reading called something like there is a House Inside My Mommy's Belly (which I cannot find on Amazon.com so I am either way off on the title or it is out of print...)

I feel huge right now and I am trying to imagine what I will feel like in three months... it is hard to imagine!

We STILL have not picked a name for Miss Princess Pancake which might end up being the best option...

When I went to acupuncture the other day, I watched my tummy the full 15 minutes I had treatment and I could see what I imagined were hands, elbows and feet poking out all over the place - I never remember watching my belly move like that with Matthew. It was very peaceful and relaxing!

My heart is bursting with pride over Matthew and how well he seems to be doing with understanding the concept of Baby Pancake every day. He called the baby a "he" the other day and I said 'are you sure the baby is a he?' and he said "NO she is my baby sister" with such pride on this face! Made my heart melt!

Speaking of melting, I cannot eat ice cream at all but apparently DQ is not real ice cream and I can eat that without getting sick. GO FIGURE. In the same vein, I now crave sugar whereas during the 1st trimester I only craved salt.

I started working out again this week and discovered that I feel as if my pelvis cracked in half and I cannot run any more. SO I am walking. fast (or as fast as a largely pregnant woman can walk which is to say that an old man with a cane and bad hips would surely lap me in a race but whatever!) And lifted weights. Two times this week. It's a start.

We have, Molly, the Douala all lined up to assist with the birth!!! I am so excited about this. We debated not having her this time but it gives me a sense of calm to know she will there so that is nice!

We are on the list to take the refresher course on having a baby. I suspect I will not learn a thing because from my experience birth is unpredictable but apparently they do a nice section for siblings.

I need to buy ten million thing and obsessively look at my list of things I need yet still have not bought anything that we actually need... Oy.

I am happy today. It is supposed to get cold this weekend but for now it is warm, sunny, the flowers and trees are in full bloom and I know that soon enough it will fully be spring time. Have a happy weekend!

Some snakes bite, some do not...

Can you feel it? Spring. I swear to you - it is coming... the crocuses have reared their little green heads along with the tulips and irises (we think...) There is that early Springy smell. The kids are shaking off (hopefully) the winter malaise by getting out here and there to play. There is the time change with its positive: more light at night and I swear there has been more sunshine since the time change! I might be hopeful in this regard but being hopeful is, you know, all I have. Never mind that in a couple of days they are predicting a rain/snow mix - I still see more high 40/low 50's then anything else on the 10 day forecast so for that I am grateful.

I am also grateful for my son. He has been difficult but he also has moments of glory too. We (I) think he is struggling with, dun dun, "the baby". More specifically with the baby being a girl versus a boy. His little friends have baby brothers right now with very few exceptions so even though some of his little friends are the older sister in the situation, he does not quite get that being a big brother to a little sister is just as cool.

His lip quivers and his eyes fill up with tears and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing because to me it seems silly but to him it is SO real and serious. We have decided to take a break from baby talk. In fact we have even stopped calling the baby's room by its proper name (Baby Pancake's room - what?! you think we have a name already?!??! HA-HA. This child will either be called Pancake or we will be deciding the name on the way to the hospital...) Matthew needs a break from it all. It is weighing heavily on his mind and after consulting numerous books - okay really just the Happiest Toddler on the Block, it seems that my little caveman is in need of some mommy/daddy time with no talk of wee babies to come.

Things that have been good with Matthew:
*He really is getting the hang of saying 'please' and 'thank you' when he is not in a (perpetually) bad mood.
* We have a game. He will say "Mommy tell me a joke, please." I will look around and say "blue cup" then we all laugh riotously at this. Then we go around the table doing this - it is really rather funny and fun to do.
* Matthew received his most recent Highlights High Five magazine which had knock knock jokes in it. He has memorized several of them and will suddenly tell them to you and they crack him right up! (okay we think it is funny too - a little Improv always lightens the mood!)
* He loves to cuddle up with us to read books (STILL!!!) but his favorite thing to do recently his pull his pillow out and put it up against the wall on his bed. All the while he will say to me " this is how you used to do it when you were a girl, right, Mommy?" Then we snuggle on his bed and read the books. LOVE THIS!
* He is in love with puzzles and it is amazing to watch his little face piecing together the puzzle. He even has the patented Van Tol (my mom)'s tongue sticking out on his lip thinking thing going on!
* He loves the games of hide and seek & tag. He will ask to play these games and will go and go. He also took these stacking barrels and made them into Easter eggs a few weeks back and we play hide and seek with those as well.
* He is really into the minute details of things. Like 'Kelly has that book' or 'that is like Lily's coat.' It is fascinating to hear him do this and the things he will pop off and remember from a year ago all on his own. It is like I am watching his little world grow and grow.
* His memory of things that we tell him. He also loves doing sticker books. We recently did an insect & reptile section and we got to talking about which of these critters bite and which did not. I basically told him that some snakes bite and some do not, some ants bite and some do not, and so forth. This was about two weeks ago. Last night he started reciting back to me the conversation we had. That is just cool!
* When he kisses us - some times he will just randomly pick up my hand and kiss it or kiss my shoulder or back. Also, when he calls out to me at bed time "I love you too Mommmeee". That does a heart good.

SO while I know I have mentioned his difficult behavior and how it has consumed both Kevin and I. There is also a lot of times when Matthew is pleasant, loving, learning and calm. All is not gloom and doom over here - my son is charming and loving - just struggling. It is hard for my adult mind to some times remember that my soon to be 3 year old son does not process life the way we adults do and it is only fair to give him props for all the good that he does do. My sweet little peanut!