Refresher Course

We had our refresher birth class last evening. There was just one other couple and our Douala, Molly, "taught" the class. It was actually a lot of fun and great to just to be reminded of some of things that maybe escaped us. I also bought the cutest skirt for $3 from their little store! We set up a time to meet with Molly in a couple of weeks. Then we went home, chatted with Kelly (thank you thank you thank you! we totally owe you!) and went to sleep.

Lo, the dreams I had last night were freakish and frightening. Perhaps it was all that reliving of the 1st labor and delivery process. Both myself and the other women had long crazy birth stories (and seriously hers ended with two weeks after giving birth having a forgotten SPONGE removed from her body...)

The main dream that did not seem to ever end but has made me immeasurably exhausted this morning was of me laboring for hours. On the floor, an industrial strength type hospital floor. Otherwise the room was devoid of anything besides me moaning and moving around. Of course hours went by and NO BABY. Molly and another unidentified person were there telling me this was JUST NOT WORKING. SO the opposite of what a Douala is supposed to do, right!? It was like my worst baby delivery nightmare. When I had Matthew I did not have him on the floor I can assure you of that. I actually tried numerous positions during labor but not a single one included lying on the hospital floor because UGHHHA, gross. I have dark shadows under my eyes that go down to me knees from two nights of hellish sleep patterns. Oh and did I mention my eyes popped open at 5:00a and would not stay closed.

Any who along with the charming hours long labor dream sequence & early morning wake up call by own damn body, I had not one, not two but THREE leg cramps in the same leg one right after another... on and on. This time I did not scream but I did writhe in pain, grip the sides of the mattress AND my leg and moaned quietly. Sort of like labor... Ah yeah. This was my right leg and if you will recall last evening I had a leg crap which was in my left leg that made me slightly limpy. Now I am can hardly walk on top of the already painful pelvic waddle I had before any leg cramps occurred. I must just be a sight to behold.

Pregnancy glow, my ass!

***

Also, what about this???

Hot Flash from Hell

Is this becoming Pregnancy Whine Fest 2008 or what? Umm yeah. So this morning I woke up feeling okay. Tired but okay. Matthew's pull ups leaked so his bed was wet but he calmly let me know this at quarter to five and we took his wet stuff off and wiped him up and he even came into our bed for 20 more minutes which was nice. He took a shower with Daddy and watched Bob the Builder. The whole time a massive storm was brewing. And when I say "massive" it was like the earth was sucking in black clouds and then threw up in the form of rain, wind, thunder and lightening.

The past two days we have been hit by massive storms creeping across the plains into Indiana with various warnings. Despite the drenching rains, the heat and humidity seem to be standing on their own through it all. Really the real issue in all of this for me other then being scared out of my bloody wits is the humidity and changes in the air pressure.

I was down right sick this morning after we dropped Matthew off. I had this huge hot flash that made me feel like I had the stomach flu... you know that 'I am going to throw up and have diarrhea all at once' feeling (TMI?). I became faint and thought I was going to need to drop my head between my knees (is that even possible at this stage in the game???) to stay conscious (I have had several dizzy spells as of late even though my blood pressure is in its normal low range and taking extra Iron to supplement the low Iron issues...) I seriously was close to gasping for air, the wet towel effect I have mentioned in the past. My body seemed to instantly swell up. This was all while I was sitting in our morning meeting with all of my colleagues... That would have been awesome to lose all my faculties and consciousness in front of everyone I work with.

Baby girl is now kicking and hiccuping away down there in her cozy little space. I am sticky now but not uncontrollably hot. I feel exhausted physically and mentally, as if just I got over the 24 hour flu all in a two hour time span. I am just trying to ignore the 10 day forecast which has our temps firmly planted in the low 90s and more storms on the horizon. Again I say it... this too shall pass, this too shall pass...

Intestinal Fortitude

I am grateful every day for the lives we have. I listened last evening as I prepared dinner to the reports coming from rural China about the destruction from the earthquake there. I could hear my son and husband giggling and chattering outside. Last week I watched the news reports of the destruction from the cyclone that they are suggesting killed over 100,000 people in a country where the government has hardly accepted any aid from the outside world. There are people sitting on hill tops surrounded by water waiting for help that the government seems to be denying. I watched my son happily enjoy his grilled chicken, potatoes and corn on the cob, that impish smile crossing his face as he told stories and jokes. Many of the dead are children. I cannot imagine my life without my son, my husband, my home so I am grateful today, and every day, for all that we have.

***
I cannot seem to kick this stomach flu or intestinal thing. I feel rotten at the moment but I cannot take any more time off of work. I need to stay put and work. This intestinal issue is taking a lot out of me as one can imagine and it seems to ebb and flow so just when I think HA I am feeling better bam I am sitting back in the bathroom wishing I could curl up into a ball shape on the floor. I have not been sick this much in all three years since having M and being introduced to "childhood" illnesses. I just want to be well from here on out until the baby comes. I want to get back to my workout routine and enjoying my time fully with M & K. I want to go back to sleeping half way decently.

I have to say I am glad that the weather has remained cool and crisp. I even welcome the rain. I know that the swelling will come soon enough as things heat up so I am just enjoying this time between the swelling.

I am perplexed. I thought I planned pretty well clothing wise but I am finding that shirts & pants I thought would fit the entire pregnancy are "coming up short". I am planning to buy some yoga type pants from Old Navy this week because they sound so comfy and my work place is very casual so I can get away with them. I also can wear them post pregnancy when I want to be comfy. I was going to buy some more shirts online but decided to just go to Target and get whatever they have. AND I need new bras STAT. I was fine with those until this week but things to be running over to say the least.

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Baby Pancake is kicking right now. That rocks! I am looking forward to welcoming her into our lives!

This morning, as I sat with M before turning on his show of choice on we chatted. Mostly it is me talking and M sucking his thumb listening but I enjoy this time. The blinds have all been opened letting in that early morning light with no lights or TV. It is still peaceful and he is mellow. Some times we snuggle and other times he will actually chat with me. Most of time we just sit quietly.

I know these moments will not go away entirely once Pancake arrives but the time I have will be divided differently for a bit between nursing and tending to a newborn. I am trying to enjoy each moment I get with M now. I do not think those moments will go away but they will be different in a few months. I cherish the sound of his feet tromping about as I get ready for work and his giggle as he runs to give me a flower. I know things will change in the coming months in a good way but for now I am enjoying how our lives are today.